When to break up with your child's pediatrician

For a few months now, I have had doubts about our current pediatrician.  We live in a tiny town, and there are literally 2 choices for pediatricians in our area.  The other choice is NOT an option for us.

When Elijah was a tiny baby, he had a lot of health requirements.  He was on "special" formula, was in multiple therapies, had heart surgery, and was just generally not an easy baby.  The pediatrician that we had (it was actually a "group" of pediatricians, but they all sucked in my opinion) was NOT a patient woman.  If you didn't request the same dr you were always switched with someone else in the practice.  I knew too much about the others to choose them.  One was actually MY pediatrician when I was small, and I knew that my mom was not fond of him.  The dr that we ended up being "stuck" with was not nice.  She was cold, rude, and NEVER spent the time in the room that Elijah needed.  If I would call the office for something to avoid the ER or Urgent Care, we ended up at one or the other anyways because it took so long for a response.

I never could get it through their heads that he was NOT a typical in-and-out case, he needed more than a brief look-over and *I* needed to be listened to!  They were supposed to be watching for signs of heart failure and I tried one day to tell them that I thought he was acting strange.  He was turning blue, couldn't get through a feed, and was sleeping.  ALL. THE. TIME!  Of course, it was shot day, and I couldn't get a word in edge wise.  The nurse (who was just as evil as the dr!) was particularly awful that day.  He was crying, a lot.  He was upset and of course they had scheduled him during nap time (and I told them that when being scheduled!). She was not happy with the attitude he had, and it was showing.

She was getting his shots ready, and my 4 month old little tiny guy was waling!  He was so upset.  This bitch crazy woman went off and smacked him in the face!!!!!!!!!!  You talk about shocked!  I could NOT believe what I had just witnessed.  It took me a minute to regain my composure, but then Momma Bear stepped in.  I took him out of her arms, and told her as nicely as I could handle, to get the HELL out of our room!  She begged me not to tell, that she was sorry...etc.  I told her too f'ing bad...and went straight to the charge nurse.  I was assured she never acted like that before, that it was an accident, and even that I imagined IT!  Oh HELL no!

An hour later, I had withdrew him from the practice, and vowed to never return.

So that is why I will never take Elijah to the #2 choice of pediatricians in our area.  Now, on to tell you why I am breaking up with our current ped.

Dr. A. is a good man.  He is patient, he is kind.  BUT, and this is a huge BUT, he is not a special needs dr.  He gets overwhelmed with both of my kids.  (They each have 2+ charts because they are so huge, and Elijah just started #5.) I was going to give him a chance to prove with Elijah's changing needs and RaeLynne's asthma that he could handle it.  Clearly, he can NOT.

For the last 3 appointments (2 for Rae and one for Eli), he has been in their room a TOTAL of 15 mintues, MAX.  The last one, for Eli, we WAITED for over 3 HOURS to be seen for 9 minutes and 14 seconds.  Yes.  Less than 10 minutes!

He argued about prescribing antibiotics (I know they are over prescribed, BUT when a child clearly has an infection, along with other health issues that could be fatal if the infection was not treated, then he MUST help them!)  He said that he didn't want to give him the Rocephin shot (I requested it because it helped SO much the last time he got it), but he said NO.  He said that insurance companies will only pay for one a lifetime.  Um, is it made of GOLD!?!?!?  He then said he would give him Amoxicillan.  Ok, Amoxicillan has not helped him for over 4 years!  We are on to the big guns, like Keflex or Bactrim.  Elijah has MRSA and sometimes has large boils that will fill with pus and need lanced.  This was one of those times.  But, he is so strong and they hurt so bad, we decided not to lance it.  I just wanted the shot to make sure he got ALL of the anti's, and so that it would help immediately.

But alas, he thought for a minute I wouldn't argue and would take the Amoxicillan.  WRONG.

I argued with him for 4 of the 9 minutes that he was in the room, and finally he gave him Clindamycin but then tells me AFTER the shot that he would also need 10 days of 2 pills a day.  W.T.F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, now, I am conviced.  It's time for this ped to go.  I don't care if I have to drive 1.5 hours to the Children's Hospital pediatrician.  I will.  I'm tired of him thinking that my kids are just the typical 4 minute in-and-out patients.  They are most certainly NOT.

I am also tired of calling into the office for a valid reason, and not getting called back for days!

But on a good note, MY dr is also a general practice dr and accepts children.  My mom, grandma, and uncle all see him.  When you call the office, you talk to a live, real person that is in the office (the secretary that you sign in with, or sometimes the nurse!).  There is always a nurse available, or she will return your call immediately if she is in a room.  He knows ALL about both the kids (we all talk about them, a lot!).  Also?  He spends AT LEAST 30 minutes in the room with his patients.  Nothing is missed.  He talks about his family, about how things are going in yours, and is generally a nice man!  I have a call in to the nurse now to see if I can get the kids switched over to him.  He isn't accepting new patients, BUT, since he sees 3 generations, he IS possibly willing to see the 4th!  Please keep your fingers crossed for me, and the kids!  This is HUGE!

E.

In a humongous rut

For the past 6 1/2 years I have dealt with a lot.  A lot of people.  A lot of Drs.  A lot of Mother's (and I use that term lightly).  A lot of people that just think they know it all.  Well, let me be the first to obviously tell you.

YOU DO NOT KNOW IT ALL.

Oh how I wish my life was as simple as the teenager that has multiple children just for the gov'ts assistance.  Every child, "perfect," despite the drugs that she was on full term.  No, it is not my place to judge, but (and I KNOW a ton of you feel this way too), WHY do those of us that do everything right for our entire pregnancies have the hardest struggles?  Someone once told me that these girls that have the seemingly normal children wouldn't be able to handle ours.

Well, that's fine.  But, it's not fair.  NEVER will it be fair.

There are people in my life that I wouldn't think twice if they weren't anymore.  People I'd like to smack upside the head so hard, they'd be feeling it for a while.  But alas, I sit here and just be upset that my children suffer and have suffered most of their lives.  Is it healthy to be angry?  Probably not.  But I can't help it.  Let me just explain something that makes me tip-of-the-iceberg-angry.

Rae's seen three doctors/clinics this week.  She was 29 lbs and 36 inches.  So, she's gained 27 lbs and 25 inches since she was born just over 3 years ago.  In fact, her original due date was Friday.  Most people would be over the moon that their child was THAT much bigger than when they started.  Hell, I can never believe that we have came this far, when just three years ago I was sitting in Nationwide Children's Hospital not sure if we'd be leaving with her.

Guess what each and every one of these drs/clinics told me?  Does it help if I tell you I left nearly crying?

"Mrs. Sword, are you sure you're feeding RaeLynne enough?  She's not growing...well.  She's in less than the 10th percentile for height and weight, and hasn't gained much since her last appointment..."

For one thing, I am only 25.  I do not need to be called Mrs.  EVER.  Then I stopped listening.  I felt like I was being told I was not a good mother, and I wanted to punch these drs right in the face.  The fact is, she doesn't like to eat.  She doesn't eat much, and when she does, she grazes.  I swear these people are lucky I have a thick skin by now.  I was so angry...so mad.  Please lets not forget the child weighed less than 2 lbs at birth.  Please.

So, we will be changing pediatricians (something I've needed to do for a while now), and we will not be going back to the WIC office.  Less than $50 in groceries a month is not worth how I felt when I left there!

--Elisha

And the walls crash down...

I've had a hard few weeks. I'm not gonna lie. The kiddos have been sick. There have been lots of appointments...I have been working a lot, and Rae's been in the ER and I've been to Urgent Care. She has another appointment tomorrow and then the appointment I've been literally scared to death of for 6 years is Friday.

Elijahs transition to the big school meeting is literally less than 48 hrs away. Holy. Crap.

I knew it was bound to happen. I knew I couldn't stop it. But really? Less than 2 days! How did 6 years pass so...fast?

If you've had a special needs child transition from the preschool to big school...how did you cope? Was it hard for you? Am I scared for no reason? I know he'll be going to the best school in the county, maybe in the surrounding counties, but I am scared. I don't know another word for how I feel.

When meeting with his SSA the other day about getting him a new provider, I couldn't contain myself. God love the poor woman, she got many months of built up stress spewed all over her. I try to get my feelings out routinely so that doesn't happen to one innocent person, but apparently it hasn't happened nearly enough.

Some things I am worried about...I know that it matters that he's in school. I know that. But I see the child that doesn't talk, communicate, write, sign, or really care about anyone else for that matter and I wonder, WHY does school matter? I know the veteran moms know that school matters but I'm just starting this part of my journey where he's not just in preschool anymore. I feel like he's not going to be able to do much, other than get the social interaction and I do wonder why and how it matters.

Another thing I fear so much, is the fact that he is growing up. What is his life going to be like? He's going to be made fun of (it happens already by grown adults!!!!) and I hate that as his protector I will be subjecting him to that. I want to keep him in a bubble forever and know that he's going to be safe. But I also know that it's not going to happen and I must let go, no matter how hard it is.

Something else trivial that some may think I'm being a baby about is that his 3 year old sister, the one that was so early they didn't expect her to survive, is doing so many things that I am afraid he just never will. If Im not honest with myself, I feel like I'll be blindsided and unable to deal with it as it happens. The fact is, Rae can talk. She can write, and is near reading. She can help dress herself and feeds herself independently. Heck, when she wants something she can go to the fridge and get something out. She is starting to potty by herself. She is semi comfortable around people...and my dear boy just ISN'T. They aren't the same, I know it. No two children are...and in Elijahs case, apparently he's one in millions.

Momma bear is scared. Yes, I am well, and fully aware that some have it worse than us. I know that lots WISH their child's diapers were paid for, that they had perfect insurance for their child, that their child was ALIVE. I know many would give anything to be in my position, however, that doesn't make my life any easier.

I have a couple of friends who are dealing with the loss of their child/ren. I wish I could take their pain away and give their child back. I wish, I pray that they had peace in their life and that they knew how much I hate complaining about our issues. But, I am only human and I need the release of getting this off my chest or I may not be able to be the mother I am.

Oh, and if you think for one second all I do is mother my children (this has been pointed out which is why I am addressing it...) you are crazy. There are hours of phone calls to insurance companies, days spent in the hospital, and sleepless nights of worrying about my children while I work, full time. It was never in my plans to be a full time working outside the home mother. But, with the economy as such, it was just not possible for me to be at home anymore. please keep your negative, nasty comments to yourself. I have enough negativity in my life dealing with Elijah's other family.

-Elisha